It has been far too long since I have posted, but by the grace of God, I was presented with a task this week. “Tell us about your current relationship with Jesus.” So, here is my honest response. Here is where I am at.
Currently, I am a bit distant. I am sad to admit it but it is true. From an outsiders perspective I’m sure they would disagree because I do still lead with love and Holy Spirit touches those around me through my words and actions. But I am happy to admit that I feel distant on the inside because it is proof that I have experienced the feeling of being so close to Him and so on fire.
I miss the feeling, more than anything. I know that it is achievable again because I know that I am the one who moved, not God. I am working on my self discipline and priorities since I started a new job recently and live alone. I know that is distance is just for a season but I am somewhat grateful for it because it’s a reminder that abiding in Him truly does fill me up in a way that the world never could. I feel Him and see Him in everything, I just need to commit my days to Him again and prioritize entering into the secret place with Him. With the state of the world these past few weeks I can feel Him stirring something up in me and whispering things to my heart that I just cannot let sit dormant. I want to offer my “yes”. I want to be bold for Him and for the Kingdom and I can feel Him gently nudging me to take a leap of faith.
My prayer is that in these moments of distance we find the wisdom to accept it for what it is: a season. Merely, just a moment. Not a permanent state of being. God is always waiting for us to return, with His arms stretched wide. Eager to welcome us back without any anger or disappointment. I pray that we accept the grace He is lavishing upon us and humble ourselves enough to return to Him. I pray for our hearts to be softened to His nudges and that we make room for the Holy Spirit to fill us and lead us. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
